Zoey’s Corner 4

Yes, that’s right. Bow before the Great Zoey, newcomer.

So by now it’s obvious that I’ve failed in Mission Objective #1. I thought for sure the Look would win Dad back over to my side. Obviously he’s more on Mom’s side than I’d thought. This bit of knowledge has been filed away for safe keeping. But now on to the point of this Corner: since Mom and Dad recently listed the things they’d learned so far in this little adventure, I thought I would, too. (I did take note they didn’t ask for my input last night, but in a moment of mercy, I decided to let it go. I try to remind myself that, unlike myself, they can’t be perfect all the time.)

Without further ado, The Things That I, Zoey the Cat, Have Learned So Far:

  1. When your parents start acquiring strange items that are a bit over-sized for a petite feline (like myself), pause for a minute and reflect. This is your first warning sign that something foul is afoot. Do not be lured in by the big boxes they let you play in or the fluffy beds that suddenly appear on the floor. This is a trick. Steel yourself for the incoming intrusion of another life force into your domain.
  2. Dear God but those little fur-balls can make an entire territory smell “puppy” in an hour flat. All those days of rubbing the side of my face on every nook and cranny in this place has been ruined I tell you. Ruined.
  3. I haven’t told Mom and Dad yet, because they seem particularly attached to the thing, but I suspect it’s defective. It didn’t come litter-box trained.
  4. I will say this: The thing’s food is mighty good smelling. I keep asking (heck, I’ve even resorted to begging at times), but the parental units just won’t give me any of it!
  5. And on a final note (I figure you readers probably would prefer I throw in something positive here), I will say that I’ve gotten far more treats since this thing showed up. I’ll give the kid that.
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