You would think we were demon parents.
Last night I had the grand idea that Scout needed a bath. I don’t know what possessed me to think it, but I did. It might be the last time I ever think it again. Let me explain.
So around 9 pm sometime the basketball game had reached halftime, and B and I thought we would take a moment to bathe Scout. No big deal, right? Ha!
Getting her into the bathroom wasn’t actually an issue. Scout is fairly curious about everything, and wants to be with us. She followed us into the bathroom, and we closed the door behind her, got the water started, etc. B picked Scout up and placed her in the tub, and I got to work.
Scout didn’t misbehave while in the bathtub. In fact, she was pretty perfect. She just stood there, with B holding her gently, and let me rub her down and rise her off. We didn’t go overboard or anything, just a mild scrub and a good rinse to make sure we got all the suds off, and then we were done. I toweled her off, and she hopped out.
Next up, the blow drying. It’s pretty cold here, and I wasn’t about to just let her wander around as damp as she was. Lesson #1 learned: Scout HATES the blow drier. She would not hold still for me to dry her, so after a good solid try, I opened the bathroom door and let her go free.
And where did she go first? To lie on the floor and lick herself dry? No. Over to Zoey to commiserate her horrible experience? No. She walked directly over to the brand spanking new dog bed we had just bought her–literally less than two hours prior–and…
PEED ON IT. That’s right folks, a dog that has not had a single accident inside since she was 12 weeks old just squatted down and let it go on her brand new bed. I was not a happy camper.
After I’d cleaned up the dog bed, Scout’s behavior proceeded to get even worse. She started to do this odd run/dart maneuver around the house, watching me like a hawk, as if I was going to grab her up any minute and subject her to the bath-time experience all over again. She had a weird look in her eyes that I’d never seen before, as if she didn’t trust me, which I found really unsettling. And she wouldn’t let me put her collar back on–in fact, she acted a bit afraid of it.
After about 15 minutes or so, Scout calmed back down. She sat in my lap and licked my hands. She returned to her normal, if exhausted, self. She actually asked to go to bed early. Was it really that stressful?
It’s a good thing labs don’t have to be bathed all that often (it’s very common to only bathe them once or twice a year, unless they get into something dirty), because this is one experience I don’t need to have again. I just keep wondering what in the world possessed her to pee on her dog bed. The only thing I can think was that she was sending me a message about how unhappy she was with what I’d just done to her. “Oh really, Mom? Take that!”
Sigh. Parenthood. I think in the future any baths that need to occur will be left to the pros. And this doesn’t even go into the nail clipping…